One Christmas Eve, I rushed out to the mall for some last-minute shopping. At the far end of the parking lot, I encountered a vehicle turning into the same spot I was turning into, but from the opposite side. The driver of the other car honked his horn several times, flickered his headlights and waved me away, leaving me no choice but to retreat because I was not about to argue with a stranger in a dimly-lit parking lot. I then backed out and drove around the lot to look for another spot. To my delight, I came across a parking space directly in front of the mall entrance. I smiled to myself thinking that, in a small way, life smiled on me that day because the day ended in a WIN/WIN situation…the man got the spot he wanted, but I got PRIME PARKING…thanks to him!
LIFE LESSON: LIFE DOES, AT TIMES, HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR!
“NO” is a tiny word, yet so hard for some of us to say. Why is that? It’s because we don’t want to alienate folks by appearing uncaring at a time when they need us. So what do we do? We agree to their request and accommodate them when we really don’t want to, then resent those very same folks for putting us in a position of ‘doing’ for them simply because we do not know how to say NO! It’s not their fault…they just asked…and we answered and if we were not honest in our response, we have only ourselves to blame.
My advice to you, for the time being, is to follow your heart when asked to do something for someone while keeping in mind that when you say NO to someone, you’re saying YES to yourself.
LIFE LESSON: IT’S NICE TO BE KIND TO OTHERS BUT DON’T FORGET TO BE KIND TO YOURSELF ON OCCASION.
What should you do when you find out that tongues are ‘wagging’ about you? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING…because when you confront gossipers, most likely they will deny spreading rumors about you and you might add fuel to the fire with your own denials. Bear in mind that ‘loose lips’ have either nothing better to do with their time, feel righteous, are envious of you in some way, or simply want to appear more interesting when conversing with others. Besides, almost everyone knows who the gossipers are on the street where you live. They also know you for who you are and will only regard the idle gossip as short-term entertainment. If you make a big deal about it, you’ll end up putting questions into people’s minds (is it true what they’re saying?) and then you’ll have more folks on board speading the gossip and that’s what you want to avoid!
It could also happen that someone you’ve known for years believes the gossip going around about you and turns on you without saying why. If that ever happens, don’t fret about it. Simply forget about it and move on. There’s nothing you can do about it and, if you ever renew your friendship with that individual, your relationship will never be the same because he/she has lost your trust!
LIFE LESSON: WHEN FOLKS GOSSIP, IGNORE WHAT IS BEING SAID ABOUT YOU. IF THERE IS NO REACTION FROM YOU, THEY WILL FOCUS ON SOMEBODY ELSE.
Are you living in the present or stuck in the past?
Our past makes us who we are today. Be grateful for all the good that comes your way, and view hurtful experiences as EXCITING occasions to LEARN and to GROW! When misunderstandings occur, take a few moments to reflect on any part you may have played in the scenario because like it or not, someone might have misconstrued what you said or did even though you had the best of intentions…then formulate a plan to prevent it from happening again.
The one thing you must NEVER DO is to dwell on past hurts, because when you think or talk about what someone said or did to you 30 or 40 years ago, it keeps you stuck in the past and causes you to RELIVE the unhappiness over and over, which really solves nothing and makes you sad. You can only learn from the past but one thing’s for sure…YOU CAN’T CHANGE IT! Focus, instead, on the good times and the many meaningful moments you share with loved ones. The following is a wonderful adage which reminds me to live in TODAY:
LIFE LESSON: “YESTERDAY’S BREAD IS STALE… TOMORROW’S BREAD IS NOT YET BAKED… SO LET’S EAT TODAY’S BREAD! (author unknown)”
Changing the one you love is no solution and here’s why: At some point in life, you fall in love with a ‘special someone’. Everything is new and exciting at the beginning then, ever so slowly, you determine that your love interest needs some fine tuning so you begin chipping away at the uniqueness that first attracted you to him/her. Your sweetheart then tries to live up to your expectations until he/she is not quite the ‘original’ you fell in love with, leaving you disenchanted. You had a good thing going…then you changed it!
Are you now prepared to be in a relationship with a duplicate of yourself, or would you prefer the diversity of someone who feels free to be himself/herself around you?
LIFE LESSON: INSISTING THAT SOMEONE MEET OUR EXPECTATIONS DOES NOT HONOR THAT PERSON!