Sometimes, people make thoughtless comments without any intent to hurt you. Instead of feeling hurt, you can choose to not allow the power of words make an impression on you.
As a youngster, Jana (not her real name) was once told that she would be cute if only her teeth weren’t so crooked. Jana is an adult now and to this day covers her mouth with her hand when she laughs or smiles because she is self-conscious about her teeth.
Yes, there are some folks who give themselves permission to make thoughtless comments to others without any regard as to the misery their words might cause someone. Now that you are aware of this, are you ever again going to take someone’s negative comments to heart only to replay them in your head for years to come as Jana is doing?
The simple solution to this is to just IGNORE upsetting comments as you hear them because thoughtless words can’t hurt you unless you let them!
This will be your test and your taste for personal power!
Are you worried about leaving a good impression? Do you often ask yourself, “What will people think? Why do you need to know that? Who are those nameless, faceless people you’re wondering about? Will they pay your debts or replenish your food pantry? How do you know they’ll even give you a fleeting thought? When you dwell on what people think, you take away valuable time from yourself by not reflecting on what YOU think, what YOU want, or how YOU could be happier.
LIFE LESSON: NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE THINK, IT WON’T CHANGE A SINGLE HAIR ON YOUR HEAD, SO GO ABOUT LIVING YOUR LIFE WORRY-FREE!
At different ages and stages of our lives, we form friendships that we believe will last forever, but that is not always the case because, sadly, some friendships do wane for a variety of reasons.
When it happened to Jana (not her real name), she was at a loss as to what went wrong to have caused her friendship of 17 years to suddenly ‘fizzle’. The following are some of the reasons for a friendship ‘disconnect’:
Your priorities have shifted because your families and/or friends are taking up more of your time.
Your mates have little in common and do not encourage the friendship.
Nothing new is being brought to the friendship table so you slowly drift apart.
Perhaps one of you inadvertently offended the other with a flippant remark in jest, thus permanently severing the friendship.
We may never really know why a friendship ‘fizzles’. What we do know is how much it meant to us while it lasted. We also know that sooner or later, everyone moves on to newer faces and fresh experiences to see us through our next stage in life because that’s how life challenges us.
Please don’t fret if your friendship has dwindled down to the occasional greeting card. That lets you know that you’re still connected…and that’s the good news!
LIFE LESSON: FRIENDSHIPS GIFT US WITH VALUABLE LESSONS AND MOMENTOUS MEMORIES TO ENHANCE OUR LIVES, SO EMBRACE THEM FOR THEIR DURATION, THEN MOVE ON WITH THE NEW!
SCENARIO: You just bought a brand new car from a dealer in the color of your CHOICE (and I stress the word CHOICE, not what was available)!
What the color you choose might be saying about your character/personality:
The following descriptions were garnered from years of observations and conversations with various drivers of all ages. Bear in mind, however, that we all share some of the characteristics that are present in the other color choices, but the ones that ensue are noticeably the dominant ones that pertain to specific colors.
SERENITY COLORS: ALL LIGHT (PASTEL COLORS)
You strive for serenity in your daily interactions with others and take great care not to offend anyone in any way. Folks are drawn to you because of your smile and soft-spoken manner and seek you out to spend time with them. Pleasing others comes naturally to you and when called upon to do a favor, you do not disappoint. You tend to keep your true feelings to yourself and will retreat from a confrontation because it could easily throw a curve onto your peaceful existence. Your generosity of spirit enables you to concentrate on the happiness of others, thereby generating a long list of folks who simply adore you. Because you are so giving, you must guard against others taking advantage of your good nature.
Your name sometimes pops up in conversations when you’re not present, not because you’re the target of gossip, but because you are being loved, admired and appreciated from a distance.
In terms of romance, when you find your perfect mate, you commit to him/her because that’s who you are, and you will bend over backwards to ensure happiness and maintain stability in your relationship.
ANALYTICAL COLORS: SILVER/GREY, WHITE, TAN and BEIGE
You are deep thinkers and planners and avoid making rash decisions. Pros and cons must be carefully weighed before deciding on your next course of action. Surprises can sometimes throw you for a loop. You need to know where you’re headed, how you’re going to get there and at what time and if things don’t work out as planned, you’ll surely have a backup strategy to save the day.
You are soft-spoken and tend to analyze things to the nth degree, often without realizing it. Your true understanding of what makes people ‘tick’ enables you to accept everyone at face value.
At social gatherings, you prefer not to be in the limelight, but you do blend in nicely because you are delightful company. People gravitate towards you because of your friendly, easy-going manner and insightful conversations.
PASSION COLORS: RED, BURGUNDY, YELLOW and ORANGE
You embrace life with a hearty passion and your ready smile quickly befriends those with whom you come into contact. Fun begins the moment you enter a room because you create it with your audible voice, lively personality and witty sense of humor. Your energy level is higher than most, enabling you to be your usual spontaneous self.
Discipline is not your strong suit and you often wish you had more of it, but whirlwinds of ideas, emotions and activities keep you rooted to excitement and instant gratification because you tend to live in the ‘moment’. Now that you’ve learned not to take yourself too seriously because you’re wiser and less sensitive than you once were, you easily ‘go with the flow’ when life presents its various twists and turns.
When it comes to romance, you enjoy the challenge of the chase, but once you’ve found your perfect mate, all others will fall to the wayside. You love life…and it loves you right back!
POWER COLORS: ALL DARK, DEEP COLORS (BLACK, BROWN, BLUE, GREY, AND GREEN)
Your character cannot be ignored. You’re in charge of your life and live it on your own terms. You know what you want and venture out to get it no matter how much time and effort is involved, and if you don’t reap the desired results, you will quickly take on new challenges.
When it comes to processing information, you do it logically and with precision which sharpens your instinct about people, enabling you to pinpoint ‘what is’ and because of this, very little escapes your keen observations. You are often short on patience, especially when common sense has not been applied. Nothing about you is wishy/washy. You eat, work and play hard and when communicating with others, you don’t mince words. Everyone knows where you stand on various issues and should someone disagree with your views, you will do your utmost to turn him/her around to your way of thinking. Skepticism often takes a front seat to things you read or hear about because you are opinionated and like to make up your own mind about things.
In matters of the heart, you have an engaging personality that captures the attention of many admirers wherever you go!
Household hints are a great help in getting things done more quickly and efficiently. The more hints we adopt, the easier our lives become. This provides us with the benefit of extra time that we can spend on doing the things we love.
Mandy’s Favorite Household Hints:
‘GARLICKY’ ODOR ON FINGERS…
After chopping garlic, run your fingers along the DULL length of your knife several times under COLD water. This will instantly remove the pungent odor of garlic from your fingers and knife. This really works!
STAINS IN COFFEE CUPS…
Pour about l/4” of liquid bleach into stained cup and top with plain, warm water, then let stand for a few minutes until stains disappear. Then wash with soap and water and rinse well. Note: Do this in your sink to prevent bleach damage to your counter.
BALLPOINT PEN INK STAINS ON CLOTHING…
This treatment has been around for ages, yet some folks have never heard of it. Simply spray some HAIRSPRAY onto the affected area, then gently wipe with a slightly damp cloth until the ink disappears…then launder normally. Keep the stain from transferring to the reverse side of the garment by placing a cloth or paper towel behind the stain. Not recommended for leather, satin, silk or other delicate fabrics.
Don’t think of pocket change as a nuisance…instead toss all of your loose change into a jar or container at the end of each day. If you manage to save only 50 cents a day, at the end of the year, you’ll have amassed $182.50!
RAN OUT OF TOOTHPASTE?…
Simply brush your teeth with plain water, floss, then rinse with baking soda mixed with water to destroy most of the bacteria in your mouth…then rinse your mouth several times with plain water. This will freshen your mouth at the same time.
MINIMIZE WATER DRIPS AFTER SHOWERING…
While standing in your tub or on your bathmat, first wipe the entire length of your arms before proceeding to dry your hair because the vigorous action of your elbows sends water droplets flying onto walls and floor. This will cut down on clean-up time.
BATHROOM AND FACIAL TISSUES, PAPER TOWELS, FEMININE HYGIENE PRODUCTS, SHAMPOOS, DISH AND LAUNDRY DETERGENTS, CLEANING PRODUCTS, LIQUID BLEACHES, ETC….
These products can be bulky and/or heavy, so stock up on them whenever they go on sale, especially before winter weather sets in. They are so much easier to unload from the trunk of a car and carry up the stairs when the weather is nice.
At the end of a dryer cycle (when clothes are still warm), remove one item at a time, place on top of dryer and smooth out all wrinkles with your hand. Repeat with each item, stacking them one on top of the other. When smoothed, bedding, towels, PJ’s, and T-shirts will remain wrinkle-free until you are ready to fold them and put them away. Note: Some articles of clothing may need some ironing, depending on the material.
Clip savings coupons as soon as you have them in hand, then put them into a see-through plastic baggie in order of expiry date and tuck them into your purse.
Write down the brand names and all pertinent information of your favorite beauty products on a plain piece of paper or clip a portion of original box or wrapper and include in your see-through baggie with your coupons… and on shopping day, you will have the information you need at your fingertips.
Keep a running list of groceries you will need to buy on a small notepad and pen that you keep handy and as soon as an item springs to mind, jot it down immediately before you forget it.
DATES TO REMEMBER…
Write down all birth dates, anniversaries, medical appointments, and other special occasions in calendar squares under pertinent dates, then check your calendar each morning and guide yourself accordingly. Note: You can color-code dates of special importance with highlighters.
In January, look over your calendar (JAN.-DEC.) and make note of how many greeting cards you will need to buy, then go out and buy them, plus a few extras for emergencies (Get Well Soon, Congratulations, etc.). This will save you rushing out at the last minute for that all-important card.
Drop your keys into the heel portion of a shoe as soon as you come home. Your keys will be in plain sight and immediately accessible when you need them . When shopping…remember to keep your keys either in your pocket, purse, or the palm of your hand…never place keys on store counter because you risk forgetting them there and will have to return to the store to retrieve them.
SOMETHING IS COOKING ON THE STOVE…
NEVER leave a stove unattended because just a few moments of inattention could result in an overflow of liquids, a burnt pot or pan or, worse yet, a kitchen fire. When you are cooking and your phone or doorbell rings, respond first to your stove to turn it off. You can always resume cooking when there are no further distractions.
Always have an ample supply of batteries on hand in sizes that are appropriate for your radios, smoke detectors, remote controls, flashlights. etc.
LIGHT UP YOUR ROOMS DURING A POWER OUTAGE…
Light up the rooms you are occupying during a power outage with flashlights standing upright with lit portions facing the ceiling. If flashlights wobble, place in tall glasses or vases to keep them from falling over. This is a safer alternative to candles and provides a wider and longer scope of visibility. Remove batteries from flashlights after power has been restored.
Do not wander around the house with your remote controls in hand because you might misplace them due to distractions. You will save time and effort by keeping each pertinent remote control in the room where you always use it.
Get rid of pesky fruit flies by cutting up a banana on a plate and wrapping it securely with plastic wrap. Using a fork, pierce the plastic wrap several times to make tiny holes. The fruit flies will gravitate towards the sweet fruit and will be unable to escape. Dispose of trapped flies by setting them free outdoors.
Let’s turn “failure” into a positive force. Here’s how you can make it work for you and still succeed:
Let it serve as a reminder as to how courageous you were to have tried something new in the first place.
Consider it as a “motivator” to encourage you to try harder, until you achieve what you set out to do.
Use it as a “deterrent” – a reason to question your choices, so you don’t repeat mistakes you’ve made!
LIFE LESSON: WHEN YOU’RE FEELING LIKE A FAILURE, REMEMBER THAT INVENTORS, PAINTERS, EXPLORERS, ETC., ALL BEGAN THEIR JOURNEY TOWARDS SUCCESS WITH A FIRST STEP INTO THE UNKNOWN. JUST KEEP ON TRYING AND YOU’LL EVENTUALLY SUCCEED.
One Christmas Eve, I rushed out to the mall for some last-minute shopping. At the far end of the parking lot, I encountered a vehicle turning into the same spot I was turning into, but from the opposite side. The driver of the other car honked his horn several times, flickered his headlights and waved me away, leaving me no choice but to retreat because I was not about to argue with a stranger in a dimly-lit parking lot. I then backed out and drove around the lot to look for another spot. To my delight, I came across a parking space directly in front of the mall entrance. I smiled to myself thinking that, in a small way, life smiled on me that day because the day ended in a WIN/WIN situation…the man got the spot he wanted, but I got PRIME PARKING…thanks to him!
LIFE LESSON: LIFE DOES, AT TIMES, HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR!
“NO” is a tiny word, yet so hard for some of us to say. Why is that? It’s because we don’t want to alienate folks by appearing uncaring at a time when they need us. So what do we do? We agree to their request and accommodate them when we really don’t want to, then resent those very same folks for putting us in a position of ‘doing’ for them simply because we do not know how to say NO! It’s not their fault…they just asked…and we answered and if we were not honest in our response, we have only ourselves to blame.
My advice to you, for the time being, is to follow your heart when asked to do something for someone while keeping in mind that when you say NO to someone, you’re saying YES to yourself.
LIFE LESSON: IT’S NICE TO BE KIND TO OTHERS BUT DON’T FORGET TO BE KIND TO YOURSELF ON OCCASION.
What should you do when you find out that tongues are ‘wagging’ about you? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING…because when you confront gossipers, most likely they will deny spreading rumors about you and you might add fuel to the fire with your own denials. Bear in mind that ‘loose lips’ have either nothing better to do with their time, feel righteous, are envious of you in some way, or simply want to appear more interesting when conversing with others. Besides, almost everyone knows who the gossipers are on the street where you live. They also know you for who you are and will only regard the idle gossip as short-term entertainment. If you make a big deal about it, you’ll end up putting questions into people’s minds (is it true what they’re saying?) and then you’ll have more folks on board speading the gossip and that’s what you want to avoid!
It could also happen that someone you’ve known for years believes the gossip going around about you and turns on you without saying why. If that ever happens, don’t fret about it. Simply forget about it and move on. There’s nothing you can do about it and, if you ever renew your friendship with that individual, your relationship will never be the same because he/she has lost your trust!
LIFE LESSON: WHEN FOLKS GOSSIP, IGNORE WHAT IS BEING SAID ABOUT YOU. IF THERE IS NO REACTION FROM YOU, THEY WILL FOCUS ON SOMEBODY ELSE.